Monday, January 21, 2013

Float (sadly, no iced cream or root beer)

I wanted to write a 2012 year in review, but I couldn't decide what, if anything, was really worth reviewing.

Winnipeg got the Jets back (awesome!), but one of my best friends revealed himself to be a right shit head (not awesome!). I became a bad ass mutherfucker in the kitchen (finally!), but managed to cut myself a lot. I FINALLY got around to going back to school (yay!), only to stress myself out to the point of tears and vomit (boo!).

2012 felt like a floater year. I just did stuff. Some of it I planned, but a lot of it I just muddled through. I completely fell off the gym wagon (which oddly, I don't feel terrible about... more on this later), I can't be bothered to write much, and I found myself working (by choice, mostly) all the goddamn time. Working to the point where it would be two, sometimes three months before I took a day off because I'd either forget to or feel I had no reason to.

I built better relationships with my girl friends, strained relationships with my family (like that's new), and opened myself up to some people while completely shutting others out.

I had a scandalous one night stand. I had the sweetest kiss of my life on a beach in the middle of the city. I had my heart stolen without even seeing it coming. It was an interesting year that way at least.

2012 was like a really great song that got a shitty remix. You kinda liked it at first, but then the beat fell off and just when you decided to try and dance to it, you just turned the music off altogether.

So, what to do with 2013?

Well, less floaty-floaty and more decision making. The first plan is to travel more and goddammit it, I just spent a glorious week off in the beautiful city of Vancouver and loved every second of my time away. I want to get back to Vegas, and I FINALLY want to see New York City. I have made very active plans to save money for these things and have already been very successful with this goal even in just the first three weeks of the year.

I want to get back in the gym, but I want to do it on my own terms and when my body finally tells me it's time. For some reason, my body seems to want rest these days. I'm sure running it ragged at work has something to do with it. I love exercise and when my body wants it, it REALLY wants it. Right now, it wants rest, so rest it shall get. I've been taking more walks than anything, which I love and you know what? It's good enough for me right now.

This year I need a little more focus and a little more me time. I need more love in my life. I need to have a lot more patience with myself and others. I feel like I've lived my life very passively over the past year and I'm tired of just letting/watching things happen.

I just want this year to be a better year. More forethought and planning, but more fun too. Can you have it all like that?

1 comment:

Beatrice Smith said...

I feel like 2012 was the same for me. I got into a new relationship (yay!), but also got diagnosed with an anxiety disorder that surprised nobody, as it turns out. (Boo. Also, -_-)

Found you on a random search for personal blogs. Hope you don't mind.