I can't bring myself to call myself a feminist because I think it's an ugly word.
I'm all about equality, for everyone. All colours, all sexes, all religions. However - to me, feminism has gone from calling for equality for women, to wanting women to be viewed as superior. I don't feel that is right.
I have experienced feminism first hand. I have worked in male dominated fields my whole life (save for my career as a beauty advisor) and I know there are some old habits dying hard in the world. I have answered the phone in a news room and had the person on the other end of the phone ask to speak to a "news man". I've been told I can't lift things. I've been told my "presence is distracting." I've been there.
I've also got jobs because they needed more women to up some sort of affirmative action quota. Who knows if the man I beat out for the job was as qualified or more qualified than me. The point is - has that bettered me in any way? I don't think so.
To me - fighting for the right to vote, the right for abortions, the right to divorce were all great fights in the spirit of equality, not feminist superiority.
I am stoked I have to choice to go out and work for a living, and be paid well AND equal to men (well, I work at a union shop, so I make less than some of the men because they've been there longer, plain and simple). But what bothers me is when a woman decides she wants to be a stay at home Mom, she is treated like she is setting women back fifty years. Um, come on. There are studies to back up the fact that kids do better when they have a parent at home raising them. How can that be viewed as anything but wonderful?
I also feel that feminism got really mixed up in the sexual revolution and not in the best way. Access to birth control is so critical, and thank goodness we have it - but what did it lead to? It encouraged women to become "sexually empowered" which to some, meant becoming a slut. Plain and simple. Is that really a good thing?
Modern feminism tells us we can be sluts but no one is allowed to call us that. That's really the Sex and the City complex. Modern feminism tells us our happiness trumps everyone else's: our children, our spouses, our families. So it's ok to walk out on marriages, it's ok to dump your kids in daycare, especially for the sake of your own well being. It's all about you you you, lady!
We're encouraged to do it all - have a great job, stay in shape, have kids, cook, have a husband and a great sex life, read books, take vacations. And then we have the Oprah's of the world who do nothing but show us that we can't do all those things. There is an entire industry geared at making women feel bad about themselves, and the people who own that industry are modern day female icons!
Feminism at it's core has given us the right to choose what we want from our lives. Yet somehow it still tears down some of the choices we make, like staying at home to raise kids, or working part time. Politicians gear entire campaigns towards women voters, and so many women don't make it to the polls. How is that for equality?
So if you ask me if I am a feminist - no way. I don't think I'm better than any man OR woman. I think if you can figure that a sex is superior to another, than you can figure a race is better than another. You see where this is going.
The world would be a much better place if EVERYONE just shut the fuck up and got back to work. Let's quit being so damn PC about everything, could we? If everyone quit complaining about everything and forcing their ideals on people, the world would get on juuuuust fine. Trust me!
I'm just sayin!
11 comments:
Why do I have so much hatred toward the guys we refer to as "Mr. Got-Rocks" who flaunts his dick in everyone's face like a power tool, the girls who say "fuck you, until you live life in my shoes..." and the in-between drones that just jump on the bandwagon with either extreme and express their "true" feelings, as fickle as they may be.
Oh yeah. Now I remember - because if it weren't for them, majorities and minorities would be a matter of statistics, not as an economic power.
Here, here!
*applause*
I think we'll have equality once women stop dressing trampy and parading themselves in music videos ("video hoes"); and showing 15 year old girls dressing like they have nothing on and posting it on MySpace is highly inappropriate.
Well I honestly think some of these feminists think dressing "sexy" (read: slutty) is supposed to be empowering somehow. I don't understand that logic at all. I mean, I'm glad I have the freedom to wear what I want, but come on.
How can showing your boobs and having them up to your neck be empowering? It's not about what is on the outside it's all about what you have inside.... brains + knowledge + street smarts + common sense....
Well, the fundamental issue with that is women should feel free to dress however they want and not be judged. I quasi agree with this. Especially, using my own personal experience, since I have big boobs that are tough to hide. Whether I play em up or down, people sexualize them. Do I think that means I should have to walk around in a turtle neck to be taken seriously? Not at all. But there's a time and a place for everything. Modern feminism doesn't seem to get that. There's something to be said for owning your sexuality, but there's something to be said for keeping it to yourself. That goes for all people.
Absolutly wonderful post. You put into words many of my thoughts that I wasn't sure how to express to my 18 year old sister ... She is currently in college taking many gender & women studies courses and has become frightfully feministic (in the "women are superior" way) I am hoping it is a college=idealism phase that will pass...it's not a good way to enter the "real" world for sure!
I'm with you on this. Fantastic post.
Agreed. Females are just as much to blame (as men) for the female identity crisis in power. We support the fashion industry that sells through female sexuality. An industry that is run by women. We then feel insecure when we don't match up to the images we see. I have been told im manipulating pre concieved perceptions of the assertive women because i dress in alot of 1950s style dresses. That if i want to dominate i should dress the part. People take the phrase "to wear the pants" way to literal these days. Identity isnt about fitting into any pre concieved notion. So in a way, women are, just as much the problem with the modern female identity as males are (if not more). Yes, sex sells, the female body is incredibly attractive, flaunt it? yes, if thats you, but how far till you compromise yourself as a being? Become consumed with the visual perception rather then the psychological, emotional etc reality of being women.
@ Real_Toothpaste:
"Agreed. Females are just as much to blame (as men) for the female identity crisis in power."
YES! ABSOLUTELY!!! Is it possible someone is starting to understand the truth of the matter?
"We support the fashion industry that sells through female sexuality. An industry that is run by women. We then feel insecure when we don't match up to the images we see. I have been told im manipulating pre concieved perceptions of the assertive women because i dress in alot of 1950s style dresses. That if i want to dominate i should dress the part. People take the phrase "to wear the pants" way to literal these days. Identity isnt about fitting into any pre concieved notion. So in a way, women are, just as much the problem with the modern female identity as males are (if not more). Yes, sex sells, the female body is incredibly attractive, flaunt it? yes, if thats you, but how far till you compromise yourself as a being? Become consumed with the visual perception rather then the psychological, emotional etc reality of being women."
*SIGH* Maybe not. OK, finally I can get to my point here. There is a mental equation that seems to be underlying everything you're saying here is this:
Women=feminism and feminism=women
It's not that simple! It's a very very well understood fact in feminist ideology that men AND women propogate gender roles, sexism and other normative ideologies around gender. The media exists to sell messages to their target demographic that they want to hear (and therefore buy). What they want to hear are things that affirm their already held beliefs. Thus the masses and the mass media are locked into a feedback loop. What people love to hear are things that affirm their long held beliefs that they are comfortable with. This is how the media in many different subject matters, picks up on the rarest examples of things, in this case "crazy, man-hating women" and draw them up as feminists. This seems to encompass everything from the extremely rare female supremacists to the Beyoncé's of the world (think "shoulda put a ring on it"). They have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with feminism.
Changes to our world-view are threatening especially when the way gender norms seem to take hold is not in a freedom creating way. Instead of trading an old restrictive way of thinking for a new one, things get sort of tacked together. Instead of being free to simply persue new ways of being female what often happens is a sort of pressure to now be successful in the marketplace AND still fulfilling the old the family roles. To some degree this is happening to men too. We're still supposed to be macho and manly and unquestionable and "masters" of the home, but now also be sensitive and understanding and vulnerable with our partners. We end up turning pleasing our partners into just another competitive sport that we have to "measure up" to.
Things are in transition right now and it can be very difficult and confusing. Unfortunately this seems to be leading to a lot of people lashing back and basically trying to throw the baby out with the bathwater instead of trying to understand and reevaluate.
Oh, and not that is should actually matter but... I'm a man.
being 'slutty' is not an issue- its the society that labels them.
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